


Gold

by thosewhofall



Category: Glee
Genre: College AU, M/M, Other, Stripper Kurt, basically its just a dark fic, mentions of abuse, mentions of noncon, past!K/b
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 23:42:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 14,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/644196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thosewhofall/pseuds/thosewhofall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt Hummel was shooting for the stars. And then he fell. And fell. And then one day someone caught him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I own nothing. This is one of my favorite things that I've ever written. Kurt is a stripper, Sebastian is his normal self. It's dark, there's mentions of abuse, non-con (never explicit), and assault, it's...its triggering if any of those are triggers. But enjoy!

New York was known for being the city of dreams. You either won, or you lost. You struck gold, or you spent your entire life mining for it. There were some instances when you thought you’d finally  found what you were looking for, but it was a farce, a patch of fools gold, and you carried on to keep looking. The most important thing about New York was to never give up, no matter how dirty you got on your dig.

                For Kurt Hummel, leaving the nice, quiet Midwestern town had been exhilarating. He’d been ready, enrolled in one of the best fashion institutes in the country, and he had a cute little apartment with his best friend. He’d hugged his father and his boyfriend and he’d gone off to the city, ready to start a new life. He found quickly, that everything that glitters isn’t gold. He learned the meaning of selfishness, as he’d watched Rachel Berry become huge as he struggled to become anything.

                He and Blaine had broken up ten months into his New York stay. They had almost made it, it was almost time for Blaine, who was going to Columbia, to come out and join him. But it was one fight too much. One drunken night with a stranger whose name Kurt couldn’t remember. Kurt knew it was his fault, but in some ways, he was glad it was over. The stress he’d been under in those ten months, to stay with Blaine despite it all, it had torn him apart. His focus hadn’t been on his studies.

                So much so that he’d lost his scholarship. He’d lost his boyfriend, lost his scholarship because of the horrible grades, and Rachel was up and coming in the world, having left Kurt completely alone. He had to move out of his apartment, into a smaller, cheaper one, and he was struggling under loans and three jobs in order to stay at FINY. He was spread too thin, and sometimes, just to relax, he went out at night. He dressed up, enjoying New York.

                One night, at a strip club dancing with a man who had been happily buying him drinks all night, he’d been propositioned. _Have you ever thought about stripping._ The man had asked, explaining that he was actually the son of the owner of the club, and that he would kill to see what Kurt looked like on a pole. Kurt had never considered such a thing, but he was drunk, and he was desperate.

                And thus began Kurt Hummel, Midwestern migrant, fashion student, and beloved son’s stripping career. He finally struck gold, making money and enjoying his work. It wasn’t something he was proud of, but it was better than starving to death.

                And damn was he good. 


	2. Chapter 1

Sebastian loved New York City. With enough of a trust fund to ensure he didn’t have to do anything other than go to school, he was living the life. Nights out with strange men, nights out with friends, not that there was much of a difference, were what he lived for. He was the prince of the Gay night scene. People begged to get to blow him. He fancied himself a modern day, younger and hotter, Brian Kinney.

                The difference, however, was that no matter how many men he took home, how many men blew him in bathrooms or how many men he fucked against walls, there was always something missing. There was something he wanted that he didn’t know he wanted. Something he felt deeper inside than he normally liked to even acknowledge. He wanted to settle. It terrified him, when he dared to allow the thought into his head, but more than anything, he wanted to settle. He wanted to find someone.

                But for now, fun reigned supreme.

                Which is what lead him to Glitter. Sebastian’s roommate, a fluidly sexual young man by the name of Bradley had decided that he was tired of dancing and clubbing and that maybe they should try a strip club. Sebastian made him promise that it would be showcasing men, and then agreed. Anything was better than nothing, and Bradley was useful; he never forgot the condoms. Sebastian and Bradley had fucked, once upon a time, and it had been great sex, but in the interest of friendship, Bradley’s words, it was better that they didn’t.

                “This place is a gay club, right?” Sebastian drawled, rolling his sharp green eyes. “Because seriously if you tricked me into having to watch pussy, I will hurt you.”

                Bradley  rolled his eyes, “Sebastian, a little faith, please. First of all, the place is called GLITTER. Second of all, last time I took you to a straight _anything_ I ended up sick for a week and it wasn’t til Friday that I found the bottle of Visine empty in the trash.” He gave the taller man a firm look. “Besides, I’ve heard about this place. They have this stripper, his name is Ice, he’s…apparently fucking gorgeous and really good at what he does.”

                Sebastian nodded, “So what you’re saying is that I should make it my personal mission to fuck whoever this _Ice_ person is?” He grinned.

                “Well, I mean, That wasn’t—” Bradley stopped talking as they entered the club, the fake ID’s close to being unnecessary. Sebastian would turn 21 in just a few months.  “That wasn’t exactly what I meant.”

                “Uh-huh.” Sebastian winked and headed for the bar.

                It wasn’t until the show started that they settled into chairs to watch the dancers. The men were all gorgeous, with long, lean legs and skimpy outfits that left nothing to the imagination. Sebastian got a lapdance from a blond man, who was convinced he’d have Sebastian creaming his pants, but was very much mistaken. Sebastian slipped a 20 into his thong anyway.

                It all changed when Ice entered the room. Sebastian stared for a moment, before his eyes widened. The stripper stared back, but no words were exchanged. Ice was gorgeous, and talented and when he lowered himself onto Sebastian’s lap, he really was close to creaming.

                “Kurt?” Sebastian whispered, close to the young man’s ear, “What the hell are you doing here.”

                The stripper paused only for a moment, “Forget you saw me.” And then he was gone, not even accepting the tip Sebastian would have willingly given him.


	3. Chapter 2

Long, porcelain legs, a tight tummy, and ruffled brown hair, Kurt Hummel was as gorgeous as he had always been. In High School, Sebastian had been blinded by the potential of Blaine, of perfect, pressed Blaine with hazel eyes begging him to touch. Kurt had always been the ice prince, standoffish and daring him to flirt or even try. Even framed with makeup, the glasz eyes were unmistakable. How Kurt Hummel had come to work in a strip club was a question Sebastian would very much enjoy the answer to. 

                Bradley had caught on to something, though the amount of alcohol in his roommates bloodstream was probably not helping that. “Wha’s wrong, Seb?”

                Sebastian shook his head, “Nothing.” He got up, “Bathroom.” He lied fluidly, as another stripper lowered himself onto Bradley’s lap.

                Sebastian headed away from the main room, wandering towards the hallway that the strippers had disappeared down. The guard at the entrance tried to stop him, but relented when Sebastian pressed fifty dollars into his hand. Finding the dressing room that belonged to Kurt wasn’t hard, the countertenor’s voice ringing through the hallway. It was pretty, as it had always been, but it sounded rougher now, older.

                Kurt startled when he looked up to see Sebastian in his doorway. “How did you get back here?” He asked quickly, as he lowered his water bottle back to the table.

                “Paid off the guard. It’s amazing what a fifty will do around here.” Sebastian cocked an eyebrow, “So since when does Kurt Hummel, prude of the Midwest, strip?”

                “Since when does Sebastian Smythe, Meerkat-faced asshole, care?”  Kurt snapped. “What do you want, Sebastian? To ridicule me? To tell me I’m being stupid or that this is below me? Because guess what.” Kurt threw up his arms, “I could be doing a lot worse.”

                “Oh no, sweetheart, you are very good at this job.” Sebastian winked, “But seriously, Kurt, you…what the hell are you doing in here? I thought you had a scholarship and shit. You were pretty proud of yourself two years ago.”

                “Yeah, well, when you fail three of the eight classes you took your freshman year, they pull scholarships.” Kurt rolled his eyes, “Are you going to leave now? I’m here for the money, okay? Are you happy, Sebastian?” He breathed, “I have to go back out there. I’m supposed to be mysterious so I hide often.”

                “Do you at least get paid well?” Sebastian asked, more curious than anyting.

                Grey-green-blue eyes laughed at him, “Do you think I’d be here if I didn’t?” Kurt stopped just `short of where Sebastian blocked his exit, “Here’s an idea, Smythe, go home to your fluffy little apartment, which Daddy probably pays for, and forget you ever saw me here.” He swallowed harshly, “And if you run into Blaine on campus don’t tell him you saw me here.” Once again, Kurt was gone.

 


	4. Chapter 3

                Sebastian didn’t know what was going on in his head. He knew that he shouldn’t care, he should walk away now, do exactly what Kurt had said, and look forward to the opportunity of running into Blaine on campus. He knew that if Bradley understood a second of what was going on, he’d never hear the end of it, but something inside him needed to understand. He needed more information, he needed to know what had caused the downward spiral that had lead Kurt Hummel to…strip.

                So he waited. He sent a text to Bradley, a lie, that he had run into someone in the bathroom and probably wouldn’t be home til late. He sat down on the chair Kurt had vacated and waited, flicking idly through his facebook until he heard the click of the heeled boots Kurt had worn, and he looked up to meet angry glasz eyes.

                “What the fuck are you still doing here, Sebastian?” Kurt rolled his eyes, pulling money out of his attire, folding it out on the table, ignoring, aside from his question, Sebastian’s presence altogether.

                “I don’t get it, Hummel.” He replied, “I don’t get how someone who was destined for a future”— His ego hated him for saying it—“ so big suddenly finds himself stripping just to make ends meet.”

                “Why is it any of your business at all, Sebastian?” Kurt turned towards him, “We weren’t friends, remember? You weren’t like, there my first year of college patting my back and spending time with me. I haven’t seen you since Regionals of my Senior year of high school, and you barge in here expecting me to just explain everything to you? Why the fuck do you even care?” Kurt hadn’t had a good blow up in a while. It felt good to yell, especially since, in his opinion, it was completely warranted. He rolled his eyes, “And I’ll repeat, what the fuck are you still doing here?”

                “I care because…” Sebastian swallowed, with difficulty, his supersized pride, “I owe you. You could have used the tape, turned me over to the administration, and my high school career could have been over, but you didn’t. You did me a kindness, Kurt, and I owe you one in return. So…Let me try to understand. Come on, I’ll cover whatever else you would have made tonight, let’s go get some food, and maybe you can help me to understand.” Who was this stranger and what the hell had he done with Sebastian Smythe?

                Kurt chewed on his lip, “This is about the tape? Senior year? That’s why you’re here, interrupting my counting my money, which, after waxing, is the most important part of my job?” Kurt scoffed. “You can go, Sebastian, I absolve you of your guilt. Get the fuck out of my dressing room.”

                Sebastian scoffed, “You must really be ashamed of this, huh? Of the reason you’re doing this? Because otherwise, why are you trying to get me to leave so fucking badly?” He stood, still standing a few inches taller than Kurt.

                “Maybe because life has moved on, we’re both grown men now, and despite your pea sized brain, you should be able to figure out that I’m just telling you to FUCK. OFF.” Kurt pushed Sebastian away from him, turning to the mirror.

 

 


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Warning for cruelty, abusive personality, and implied forced sex.

“Who was that guy?” One of the other strippers asked, poking their head in on Kurt.

                Kurt sat back against his chair, “That, my friend, is a ghost from my past I hope to never have to encounter again.” He went back to counting money.

                “If I was you, honey, I’d see him again and again and _again._ ” The blond winked before he wandered away.

                Kurt stared down at the money, cringing. He’d been found out. Sebastian now knew where he worked, and knew his biggest secret. There was something about the defiant way he’d walked out of the room that had Kurt worrying. What if he did run into Blaine on campus? What if he ran into Rachel or Quinn when she came into the city for a visit? He wasn’t ashamed of what he was doing, but nobody would understand. They’d offer him money or a place to live and that wasn’t what he wanted. The allure of New York City was making it on your own, not making it because you had help.

                “Ice!” Kurt looked up, startled, as another stripper entered his space, “You have to get out there, Derek is here! He’s going to get mad if you don’t get out there.”

                Kurt nodded, “Thanks for the heads up.” He unlocked the drawer with the key on his chain and threw the money inside it, locking it back up. Derek was the son of the owner of the club. He was the man who had given Kurt the job and thought Kurt owed him for that. Kurt would be forced to tend to him for the rest of the night, and likely make very little money off of it. He suddenly regretted not taking Sebastian up on his offer. He glanced in the mirror, before heading out onto the floor.

                Derek was a nice enough guy if he was sober. Even if he was just high, he wasn’t bad, but when he’d been drinking and smoking, he was impossible at best to handle. More than once he’d forced Kurt onto a bed. It wasn’t really rape, because Kurt had been teasing him all night, but it was his job to tease. Derek never hurt Kurt, not physically at least, even during sex he was tender, and the sex wasn’t bad, but regardless, Kurt hated nights like tonight, and it only took one glance at Derek’s bloodshot eyes to know what he was in for.

                He swallowed his pride and strutted towards the man, smiling the sultry, teasing smile. “Derek.” He said, running a hand down the man’s arm, “It’s been a while.” _Not long enough._

                “There you are, beautiful. They told me you were working, I was wondering how long before you came out of hiding.” Derek gripped Kurt’s hips forcefully, pulling him down onto his lap. Kurt let his body be pulled. It was less painful than fighting back.

                “I was waiting for you.” He said in Ice’s voice, “I wouldn’t want to give any other man the kind of treatment that I give you.” He expertly rolled his hips so he brushed against Derek’s erection. If he could get him to come in his pants, he wouldn’t bother to follow Kurt back to his dressing room.

                “You better not, or you’d just be a filthy whore.” His voice was deep and his green eyes were trying avidly to focus on too many parts of Kurt at once.

                The dance continued, conversation quiet and dirty and Kurt’s body never ceasing to move. It was something he loved about the job, he could throw himself into Ice. Ice didn’t have fears or cares, Ice’s mind wasn’t on Sebastian Smythe, Ice’s mind was on the job at hand, namely getting Derek off so that he could go home and actually get some sleep tonight.

                Finally, the man beneath him tensed, and Kurt backed off of him, winking as he moved to service the other men Derek was with. Their lapdances were significantly  shorter, and some even slipped money into the leather straps that served as a shirt for Kurt. He made one more round around the room, spent a few minutes on the poles – he was a favorite, flexible and strong—and then hurried back to his room, anxious to get home, needing to be in private and to think over what had happened.

                “Done so soon?” He looked up to hear Derek’s voice, swearing silently. “You didn’t think you were just going to get way with dancing me into coming, did you?”

                “Derek you’re not even making sense.” Kurt said, leaning against his vanity, “I’m tired. I’ve worked a lot tonight, It’s time for me to go home my shift is over.”

                “If it wasn’t for me, you little slut, you wouldn’t even have this job, so your shift isn’t over until I say it is.”

                “Please.” Kurt said, pouting, “Next time, I promise, just, go, please.”

                “I think I’d rather –”

                “He said leave.” Kurt wanted to cry when he heard the voice. What the fuck was Sebastian still doing here?


	6. Chapter 5

Derek whipped around, “Who the fuck are you?”

                Sebastian smirked, “An old friend.” He lied fluidly, “Kurt asked you to leave him. Whatever you want for him, it can wait.”

                Kurt wanted to cry. He was going to lose his job because of Sebastian fucking Smythe. “Sebastian it’s okay just go.” He said, his voice tight.

                “Oh it can wait, can it?” Derek asked, turning back to Kurt, “Well you heard him, sweetheart.” He grinned cruelly, “It can wait. I’ll see you tomorrow, beautiful.” And then Derek pushed past Sebastian to leave.

                “What the fuck was that?” Kurt asked at the same time Sebastian asked, “Who the fuck was he?”

                “That was the owner of the club’s son.” Kurt answered, sinking into his chair, resting his head in his hands, “I can’t believe you.” He looked up, his eyes full of fear, “I’m going to lose my job, and if I come here tomorrow…” He didn’t even want to think about what Derek was capable when he was sober and mad.

                “Does he hurt you, Kurt?” Sebastian asked.

                Kurt shook his head, “No the sex is mutual, maybe a little more desired on his end than mine, but I get to keep my job.” He ran a hand through his mussed hair, “But I wouldn’t put it past him now.”

                “So there’s an easy answer.” Sebastian said, “Don’t come back.”

                “And do what? If I don’t come back here, he’ll spread the word around the Strip Club circuit. I’ll never get another stripping job again. Glitter is good for me. It’s fun and it pays well…”

                “Are you trying to convince yourself, or me?” Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest, “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble, you just really seemed afraid of him.”

                “Normal people are afraid of a man like him.” Kurt shook his head, “What are you still doing here anyway?”

                “I came back to talk to you. I took Bradley – my roommate—home and then headed back over here, I was hoping I’d catch you before you left.”

                “Well you caught me alright.” Kurt stood, unzipping the boots and kicking them off, pulling the leather strap shirt over his head to hang on a hangar next to the door. He pulled on a pair of yoga pants, over the hotpants he already wore. “We’re not old friends. Why did you feel the need to tell Derek we were?” He packed away his clothing and unlocked the drawer of money.

                “It was that or boyfriend.” Sebastian grinned, winking when Kurt glared up at him. “At least let me walk you home. New York is dangerous at this time of night.”

                “You think I don’t know that?” Kurt slid his hand deeper into the drawer, “And carrying several thousand dollars in cash?” He pulled a gun from the drawer, bending down to slip the holster onto his ankle. “I’ll be fine, Sebastian.”

                “Are you licensed to carry?” Sebastian asked, swallowing nervously at the sight of the gun. He and Bradley had one in the apartment, but the way with which Kurt handled it spoke of comfort and familiarity.

                “I’m 20, what do you think?” He laughed, “But I will be as soon as I turn 21.” He laughed, “But I suppose if you want to be my big bad protector, which, by the way is really confusing.” He heaved the backpack over his shoulder, tucked the money envelope into the waistband of his pants, and looked up at Sebastian, “Let’s get out of here.”


	7. Chapter 6

It turned out Kurt didn’t live very far from the strip club at all. This made Sebastian cringe, as the neighborhood was home to drug dealers, prostitutes and of course, other strippers. It wasn’t a particularly good neighborhood, and Sebastian was nervous to be there that late at night. It wasn’t like his own apartment building at this time of night, it was loud and everything rattled and Sebastian had sworn he’d seen a rat the size of a small dog run across an alleyway.

                Kurt, however, wasn’t fazed. “Welcome to my humble – and I stress humble—abode.” He unlocked three locks on the door, pushing into the room and motioning for Sebastian to lock the door behind him. He set the backpack on the countertop in the tiny kitchen, and then reached to open the fridge. He stared, “Well I’d offer you a drink for your walk home, but I’m out of..everything.” He shrugged. “Sorry. Haven’t had guests or much time to grocery shop.”

                “Well I guess not, if you work at the strip club and go to classes.” Sebastian leaned against the corner of the wall.

                “Oh and you forgot my job as a barista.” Kurt waggled a finger at him. “Have to keep up appearances, remember? Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

                And oh how he wished it did. He hated having Sebastian here. He hated that the prep-school fallen angel got to see what happened when one fell without wings or a shiny golden halo.  He hated that Sebastian had seen what he had seen between himself and Derek. He hated that he allowed Derek to do what he allowed to do. He hated that he’d let his relationship with Blaine get in the way of his scholarship. Kurt was full of hate, for someone who had once hated hatred.

                “Oh it doesn’t? I have a biology professor that would disagree with you.”

                “Money is made out of cotton, Sebastian.” Kurt rolled his eyes. “Okay,  I made it home, you can go now.”

                Sebastian glanced at the door, “What happened to you, Kurt?” He asked, softly, honestly. “What…who or what hurt you and made you this person? Why isn’t Blaine helping you? Do you two live apart or something?”

                “Blaine and I broke up, Freshman year.” Kurt said, his voice dark, “And if we want to get technical, all of this is his fault. Because…I tried too hard to hang onto him. He wanted to be free, we BOTH wanted to be free but both of us were afraid to let go and I wouldn’t fucking let him.” Kurt hadn’t talked about this in over a year, “So I did. But before I did, I’d failed classes and I’d lost my scholarship and Rachel moved out and I had to move here. I was alone, Sebastian. I’ve always been alone.”

                “Why didn’t you just go home? Does your Dad know this is how you live?” Sebastian took a step closer to Kurt. “Why didn’t you leave New York?”

                “Because I refuse to give up. FINY is my ONLY chance at being something other than a stripper. FINY is my only chance at having my name be known, my real name. Sure, I could go to OSU, get a business degree, help my dad turn Hummel Tires and Lube into a national corporation, but I’m not a quitter, Sebastian. Rachel struck gold, you were born with a fucking gold spoon in your mouth.” He swallowed, “I’m looking for my gold still.” Tears formed in his eyes, “There, I spoke, I told you what happened, how I became a disgusting fucking stripper. Now, can you just leave?” He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth, his lips quivering.

                Sebastian stared at the beautiful boy before him. He had so much fight. So much heart. He was beautiful and hopeful and he still believed that he’d become something. Sebastian slowly shook his head, and stepped forward, winding his arms around Kurt, “No.” He said, tugging Kurt against his chest, “I won’t let you be alone anymore.”

                Kurt wanted to react. He wanted to tear away, to remember the pain of Senior year and to push Sebastian away and tell him to go fuck himself, tell him that he didn’t need anyone. But Sebastian wasn’t being the man he had been Senior year. And it had been a really, really long time since anyone had held him. So he relaxed, breathing in Sebastian and winding his arms around his neck, “Okay.” He said weakly, holding on tightly.


	8. Chapter 7

Kurt woke the next morning still wrapped in Sebastian’s embrace, tucked into bed, with his head laying on the other man’s chest. He took a deep breath, as the memories from last night surfaced. They’d watched RENT, laughed and sang along, and then they’d wandered to bed. There had been no kissing, no touching, no sex, it was just comfort, and it was just exactly what Kurt had needed. How Sebastian had known that he’d just needed comfort was beyond him, but he was thankful.

                He glanced at his phone, flicking through the angry text messages from Derek, wincing through a voicemail from the club manager about how he’d made Derek angry and if he wanted to keep his job, he’d better made him not-angry. Then he rolled out of Sebastian’s embrace, wandering out to the kitchen, still in the yoga pants and hotpants from last night, but the T-shirt he’d donned discarded somewhere. He plugged his phone into the charger on the kitchen counter and looked through his fridge, truly angry with the lack of food.

                He returned to the bedroom, seeing Sebastian sitting up in bed, looking at his own cell phone. “My roommate thinks I’m dead.” He said with a smirk, before typing back quickly on the iPhone. “Do you want to go get some breakfast?” He asked hopefully.

                Kurt stared, “Why are you doing this, Sebastian?” He asked, not nearly as needy or fragile as he had been last night, “For me, of all people? What you did last night was enough to make up for the tape thing, but…why?”

                “Because…” Sebastian looked away, “Because you’re gorgeous and you have heart and you are real. You actually want to make it in this place, you’re willing to fight for it tooth and nail, not like some of my other friends, or fucks. They’d been handed everything their entire lives, I’ve been handed everything my entire life, but you keep fighting. And I admire that.” He stood up, holding out his arms, “And believe me, if any of my other friends saw me now, they’d think I’d lost my mind.”

                “I think you’ve lost your mind.” Kurt said, but he willingly tucked himself back into Sebastian’s arms. He was glad, for the moment, that someone else was being the strong one. “But I will take breakfast if you’re buying.”

                Sebastian laughed and kissed the side of Kurt’s head, “Go take a shower, and I’ll buy you breakfast but you smell like sweat and come.”

                Kurt made a face. “I do…” He sniffed, “Okay maybe, but you slept in the same bed as me without complaint so shut up.” He grinned and wandered towards his bathroom, teasingly slipping down the yoga pants and giving Sebastian one good glance of his porcelain ass before disappearing into the bathroom.

                Sebastian bit his lip and went back to his phone, dialing Bradley’s number.

                “Where the fuck are you?” Bradley answered, in a groggy, angry voice, “I mean seriously. You’ve had me fucking FRANTIC.”

                “Bradley, this is not the first night I haven’t come home.” Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows.

                “But this is the first night you haven’t come home after going _back_ to a strip club. Did you go home with one of the strippers?”

                Sebastian bit his lip, “Nope.” He glanced at the shower door, “One of the patrons. Chill, I’m going to get food and then come home to shower before class. I’m alive, Bradley.”

                “Well next time, a text would be nice.” He huffed, “Was the sex at least good.”

                Sebastian thought back to their cuddles on the couch, and then in the bed, and lied without really lying, “Yeah, it was a great night. I’ll talk to you later, Brad.”

                He hung up, and then stood up stretching, and began the hunt for the discarded articles of clothing.


	9. Chapter 8

When Kurt wandered out of the shower, stark naked, Sebastian couldn’t help but ogle. Kurt pretended not to notice, slipping into black cotton briefs and pulling on an undershirt before he turned to Sebastian, “What, never seen a naked man before?” He accused playfully before flicking through his small closet. Most of his higher end stuff had been sold when money got tight. All he really had left was worthless pieces, clothing for work, and the things he’d made. He pulled on a pair of jeans that, a year ago, had been a size too small, but now fit him perfectly.

                “Not one that looked like you.” Sebastian teased. He glanced at the label on Kurt’s jeans, wondering silently when he’d started wearing off-brand clothing. “So, where are we going to breakfast?” He himself was dressed, looking as he had last night, the picture of effortless sex appeal, a simple black V-neck, Seven jeans, and black running shoes.

                Kurt slid a button down on over his shirt, and checked himself in the mirror. It was subdued from who he had once been, but some things had to be sacrificed in the name of survival. He bent to pull on his black Doc Martens, the one piece he had been unwilling to part with. “Um, well, do you want to pay for a cab too? We can go to breakfast close to campus, and probably closer to your apartment?”

                In other words, not in this neighborhood. Sebastian understood, “That’s not even a problem. You made last night a cheap night for me.”

                “You paid off the bouncer $50.” Kurt grabbed a bag and draped it over his shoulders, checking for his keys and wandering to the kitchen to grab his phone. He looked at the envelope of money.

                “Like I said, a cheap night.” Sebastian studied Kurt, “Do you want to go by the bank too?”

                Kurt looked over his shoulder, “Yeah.” He bit his lip, “It’s not safe to leave that much money in my apartment. I don’t leave anything worth any money in my apartment. Even my laptop comes to work with me.” He locked the three locks behind him and Sebastian.

                Sebastian didn’t want to pity Kurt, but he did. The situation the brunette had found himself in was unbearable at best. Sebastian wouldn’t have survived five minutes alone and penniless, but Kurt was a fighter. “So, do you work every night?” He asked as they walked. Cabs didn’t come this way unless you called, it was a few blocks away before they’d come upon one.

                “As many nights as I can. I make about 300 a night, after what the club takes for their cut,” Kurt lowered his voice and looked around him, “I send money home to Dad, and put it into savings. I want to get a new apartment, but I want to buy one…” Kurt raised one shoulder, “That way, when it comes down to it, I can quit, and not worry about anything other than utilities. I don’t...” He shuddered, “I don’t want to have to do this if I don’t have to.”

                “How long have you been stripping?” Sebastian saw a man staring at them, and casually draped an arm around Kurt’s shoulders. Kurt didn’t object.

                “About nine months now.” Kurt said, “I could make more money, but I’m afraid to leave Glitter. I’m afraid…”

                “Of Derek.” Sebastian answered for him, “You can’t let him do that to you, Kurt.”

                “I can’t not let him do that to me, Sebastian.” Kurt sighed, “He doesn’t hurt me. He never hurts me.”

                “No still means no, even I follow that rule.” Sebastian hailed a cab, and helped Kurt in. Kurt told the cabbie which bank to go to.

                “I owe him.” Kurt said firmly, with a yawn, “At this point, I can be stripping, or be a prostitute. I’ll take stripping.”

                The rest of the car ride was silent. Sebastian wanted to offer to help Kurt, it ached for him not to throw his money around and promise to make it all better, but he knew that Kurt would say no. He knew pushing his money on Kurt would just make Kurt clam up, back down from him, and that was the last thing Sebastian wanted.

                The stop at the bank had been quick, Kurt depositing the money for the week in his account. He made decent money on weekdays, but Saturday and Sunday always promised a bigger cut. When he was done, they moved on to the diner near Kurt’s campus.

                “I didn’t even know this place existed.” Sebastian said, looking around, “It looks just like—“

                “The Lima Bean.” Kurt finished, “I found this when I moved out here. Rachel and  I went wandering when neither of us were busy. It’s a reminder of home, home away from home.”

                “They serve food here too though?” Sebastian inquired as they stood in line, “I mean, it looks like a coffee shop.”

                “Oh it is, but they make a mean mocha and an equally delicious omelet.” Kurt stepped up to the counter, “Hey Gracie, can I have my usual, and then whatever he wants.”

                “Oh really, I get to eat?” Sebastian teased before ordering an omelet with every kind of meat the store sold. Kurt made several meat jokes that just got an eyebrow raise from Sebastian, but they took their coffees and sat down at a table after Sebastian paid.

                “So, you have class today? What other days?” Sebastian sipped his own drink.

                “I have class Monday through Wednesday, and Friday. Today is History of Fashion, same with Tuesdays. I..didn’t take as many classes this semester, I couldn’t afford it at the time. And I was working full time, didn’t want to overload myself.”

                “So how many years are you looking at for school then? If you’re stretching it out wont it take you longer?”

                Kurt nodded, chewing on the inside of his mouth, “I’m looking at 6 to graduate. I had to retake the classes I failed and that didn’t really help. Now I’m just, doing what I can and trying to make as much money as I can to prepare for the future.”

                “So you really have to go back tonight, huh?” Sebastian sat back as the waitress dropped off their omelets. “Do… you want me to come to make sure everything will be okay?”

                “No.” Kurt answered quickly, “No, I really, really think it will be better if you don’t come back to Glitter, at least not for a while. Derek will be gone after tonight, hopefully. So, I’ll be okay.” Kurt smiled affectionately at Sebastian, “You can put your number in my phone so I can call you if I need anything, if that will make you feel better.”

                Sebastian returned the smile. “I’ll take you up on that.” He licked his lips, and didn’t break eye contact until he turned to his food.


	10. Chapter 9

Kurt loved going to class. It was the only real time when he felt normal. In class, he was just Kurt Hummel, just future fashion icon, designer extraordinaire. His classmates talked to him, like he was normal. He didn’t feel like a stripper, like someone who put on tight, barely-there clothing and makeup and danced for men who were probably old enough to be his dad, and who more than likely had snuck out of their comfy homes where their wives were asleep and watched him and touched him and shoved money in his underwear.

                It wasn’t like that in class. In class, Kurt could forget Ice, forget everything. In class, he could just be Kurt.

                That didn’t stop the thoughts today, though. Today, he had to go back to Glitter, and he had to face a very angry Derek. And then regardless of how it actually went, he had to call Sebastian and tell him he was okay. He had to hope that he still had a job, that he could continue to make the kind of money he’d been making for the last nine months. And it was all because of fucking Sebastian that made it all wrong. If Sebastian hadn’t stopped Derek, it would have just been sex and then it would have been over, and then life would have carried on as normal.

                Instead, there was an extra variable thrown in there. Instead, now, Sebastian had re-entered his world. And it wasn’t…wholly unpleasant. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but he was glad that he finally had someone else to allow to be strong. And he was really glad that for once he was truly not alone. Sebastian was good for him. Somehow, he had separated himself from his own nature and had just been there for Kurt. It was more than he had imagined he’d ever see from the teenage Sebastian he had once known.

                It was this thought that occurred when he bounced off of someone during his walk home. He looked up, and the apology died in his throat. I’m sorry very quickly transitioned into “Blaine!” And then the fear set in.

                “Oh, hey Kurt.” Blaine was bending down to pick up his bag. “Wow, How…how are you?” He asked, still a bundle of joy with black hair and gorgeous honey eyes.

                “I’m okay.” Kurt answered. “Yourself?”

                “Oh I’m great. I love Columbia! I…you know I went to the address that, um, you gave me, but you and Rachel moved I guess.” Blaine put his hand on the back of his neck, a telltale sign that he was nervous. “Neither of you ever told me.”

                “Yeah, we’ve kind of fallen out of touch.” Kurt shrugged, “I only knew you were coming out here because of Facebook.” Kurt licked his bottom lip, “But yeah, Rachel moved out and therefore I had to.”

                “I’m sorry to hear that. I’m dorming at Columbia…” Blaine smiled, “I guess, I’ll see you around?”

                “Yeah, sure.” Kurt furrowed his eyebrows, “Hey Blaine?”

                “Yeah?”

                “What were you doing on my campus?”

                “I’m visiting a friend.”

Kurt didn’t even pretend to himself, as he walked away, that the invisible boy in front of the word friend didn’t hurt just a little.


	11. Chapter 10

The first thing Sebastian did when he wandered into his and Bradley’s apartment was boot up his laptop. While the MacBook loaded, a rather short process, he stripped out of last night’s clothing, sitting cross-legged on his bed in his underwear. As soon as he got to the home screen, he typed in his password and flicked through the email contacts for the one he was looking for. Being a Smythe had its perks, and having a private investigator on file happened to be one of them.

                Once he’d sent out as much information as he had on this ‘Derek’ figure that Kurt was so terrified of, along with a subject line of ‘URGENT’, he checked the rest of his emails; his mother, his sister, one of his professors, and then closed the lid on the laptop. Kurt would kill him for doing this. Kurt wanted to handle this on his own, but without Sebastian in the picture, there would have been nothing for Kurt to deal with. Even if it meant that Kurt would be angry at Sebastian, at least he would be safe.

                “Sebastian Smythe, boy it has been a long time since you haven’t gotten home til after 10am.” Bradley stood with his hands on his hips.

                “It’s a really, really long story, Brad…” Sebastian ran a hand through his hair and yawned, “I need to shower, I have lunch with my father and his firm.”

                “Cutting it a bit close aren’t we?” Bradley teased lightly, “Do you want to talk about it?”

                “It’s a lot to talk about. A lot of backstory.” Sebastian shook his head, “I’ll explain eventually, but right now just doesn’t seem like a great time. I’m running late as it is.” He hurried into the shower, not willing to talk to Bradley about Kurt. Not yet. Not when there were so many unanswered questions.

                Lunch with his father and the rest of the law firm was predictably stuffy. Sebastian was a pre-law major at Columbia with strong promise. Sebastian was great in arguments, and he knew rules and laws backwards and forwards; he had to, to be able to get away with breaking as many as he did. The firm loved him, looked forward to making the name of the group ‘Smythe, Smythe and Co.’ Sebastian could really care less, but he smiled through the lunch regardless. Today he had other things on his mind.

                He was walking back to the apartment when his phone notified him of the newest email, and he was relieved to see the subject line as ‘RE: URGENT’ The information he needed was there, full name, date of birth, address, and of course, those tiny little pinpricks on his record. Things that likely, nobody knew about. The assault charge, the minor in possession charge that had been expunged so he didn’t get kicked out of private school. The most interesting piece of information was the drug addiction. Sebastian was surprised he hadn’t seen it himself. Regardless, he had enough information to bury the man, and he intended to do that, if he dared to hurt Kurt Hummel.

                He hurried home to change, plain jeans, and a black T-shirt. Nothing identifiable other than his face, before he took a cab back to the neighborhood where Kurt worked, and where Derek lived, to have a very private conversation with the man. It didn’t take long before Derek was bending over backwards about not laying another hand on Kurt. His father didn’t know he had a drug problem, and it would be much better for him if it stayed that way.

                Sebastian left feeling satisfied. Kurt could be mad at him later, but Sebastian had told him that he wasn’t alone anymore. And when you have powerful friends, they have powerful means to ends.


	12. Chapter 11

Kurt is slightly more than surprised that Derek isn’t in his dressing room already, badgering him, trying to make him make up for last night, but he is also relieved. It means that Derek won’t get to deal with Kurt, he’ll have to deal with Ice, and as Ice, Kurt knows no boundaries, there is no line of right and wrong. With Ice, there is only the dance. It is an act, a person, a persona that he knows well, and that he can hide behind. It will protect his fragile, questioning emotions from the evil that is Derek. Kurt is thankful to whatever force kept Derek from being there, he is unendingly grateful.

                He hums to himself as he begins to dress, slipping on the tight hotpants that are the only real shred of cloth between him and losing all of his dignity. The vest he’s chosen for today is backless, revealing the rippling muscles that now exist in his back thanks to all the pole dancing. He is wider at the shoulders than he once was, more built, more masculine, but still smaller than most. Except for Blaine. Blaine was always tiny, and he still was, shorter and more slender than Kurt. Sebastian, on the other hand, has inches on him in height, and his shoulders were the most comfortable pillow Kurt had found in a long time.

                The makeup is his favorite part. The dark, smoky eyeliner, the pale blue-silver eyelids that bring out the blue grey tones in his eyes, leaving the green to be discovered only upon close glance, a right he gives few. He dons the black boots with the slight heel, and then glances at himself in the mirror. He is ready.

                Many of the other strippers used drugs. Cocaine, Heroine, and Meth were the favorites. Kurt hadn’t tried them. It took more makeup to cover those kinds of bags, and track marks and Kurt really enjoyed his teeth, so he just, didn’t. They claimed it made the job easier, it made the eyes and the hands feel miles away, but Kurt acted instead. He didn’t need drugs. He had Ice. Kurt was miles away, tucked into the warm, comfortable arms of Sebastian Smythe.

                The thought in and of itself shocked Kurt. Where had it come from? Since when did he want to see Sebastian? Especially after the night before, where he could have easily cost Kurt his job and his lifestyle. And speaking of, where the hell was Derek. Kurt waited, sitting down, checking his phone, waiting for the hour to pass before he makes his first appearance of the night. He’s on the pole tonight, which is his favorite. It means no lap dances or personalized touches, just dancing, just spinning and floating down and feeling the tight ache in his abdomen, and Kurt loves it.

                “Kurt.” Kurt looked up, surprised by his own name, and swallowed. Derek doesn’t sound angry. He just sounds tired, “I wanted to apologize for how I acted yesterday.” Jesus, he’s sober. “It was out of line, you said no.”

                Kurt stares at him, “Okay…” He said, setting his jaw before nodding, “He came to talk to you, didn’t he?” Kurt rolled his eyes, “I fucking told him not to interfere…”

                “Don’t tell him I told you.” There is fear now. Oh this is blackmail. Okay. “I said I wouldn’t. How did you even know?”

                “Because two things stop you, Derek, money and knowledge.” Kurt shrugged, “And Sebastian has both.” Kurt reached for Derek’s arm, pushing up the long sleeve, “He isn’t the only one who’s known.” He shrugged, “Well, apology accepted, somewhat.” Kurt pushed past him, “I have a show to perform.”

                Later that night, after the dancing and the money, Kurt shot Sebastian a text.

                K: Home safe. You don’t know how to listen do you?

                S: Good. And What?

                K: I told you not to talk to him.

                S: I made a mess, I fixed it. I want you safe.

                K: Why is that suddenly so important?

                S: Why does it have to matter. Breakfast tomorrow? Or Lunch?

                K: Lunch. Pick me up at 11. You’re buying.

                S: Done. <3

                It was the little heart that Kurt stared at as he drifted to sleep with the three locks bolted on his door.


	13. Chapter 12

Kurt found himself taken by the whirlwind of his life now that Sebastian Smythe was in it. He was happier now, less lonely, and more able to cope with the world around him. They were officially nothing, just friends, but when Kurt didn’t have to work, or when Sebastian came over to pick up Kurt after work, they slept in the same bed. Kurt would curl onto Sebastian’s chest, and Sebastian would hold him, and when nightmares wracked him, he would stroke Kurt’s hair and wipe away the tears.

                Sebastian loved spending time with Kurt. He loved being around the boy. Kurt was a positive influence on him. He smiled more, he took some initiative, actually got involved in his fathers’ firm. For the first time, he had something to look forward to other than partying and drinking. He had someone to worry about other than himself. And the further he got into it, the more he craved it, craved knowing that Kurt was safe, desired to see Kurt smile or hear his laugh. Kurt was slowly becoming the center of his world.

                Four weeks after the initial meeting at Glitter, Kurt and Sebastian were eating an early breakfast. Kurt had a class and Sebastian had his lunch with his father. It was the middle of October, New York was just starting to get chilly, and the fall was in full bloom, central park shrouded in colors. Kurt was eating his omelet when Sebastian dropped the question on him.

                “Kurt, what are we?” He stared across at the brunet, his eyes wide and innocent. “I like you, and I like what we have, our friendship, the time we spend together…” Sebastian sighed, “But don’t you ever want more?”

                Kurt choked on his omelet and sucked down a drink of his coffee before looking up at Sebastian. “Sebastian that sounded like an awful attempt at asking me out.”

                Sebastian smiled, abashed, “My father noticed a change in me. He said that obviously there is someone in my life, and he insists on meeting the man responsible as soon as possible.” He took a drink, “I wanted to bring you. I want to be with you, to show you off, to call you my boyfriend…”

                Kurt swallowed, “But…”

                “But I want this to be our decision. Not one that I made to please my family.” He looked down at his food, “But yes, I’d like you to agree.”

                Kurt sat back, wrapping his arms around himself in the way that he did when he was closing himself off, shutting Sebastian down. “Sebastian, I… I don’t know if I can do another relationship.” He said, his eyes wide and blue and innocent and nothing of Ice was present in them, “I…” He paused, and thought about it for a long time, so long that Sebastian’s heart sagged, “Okay.” He said finally.

                Sebastian’s eyes furrowed, “Okay?”

                “Okay I’ll do it. I’ll be your boyfriend. I’ll be with you, let you show me off.” Kurt smiled, warily, tiny, but true.

                Sebastian got up out of his chair and walked around, grabbing Kurt’s face and leaning in for a kiss. Their first official kiss, the first kiss that wasn’t a chaste goodbye or a quick goodnight. This was their first kiss, their first real kiss.

                But then Kurt stiffened, as Sebastian’s hand ran down his back, and he pulled out of the kiss, and stood up, “Sebastian…” He backed away, “I…” He wanted it, he wanted it so bad it hurt but he couldn’t, not when he was how he was. “I have to go to class.” He patted Sebastian’s cheek, dropped a few singles on the table and headed out, leaving Sebastian feeling flustered, sad and confused.

                Sebastian deserved so much better. Kurt was convinced. He deserved someone who could live in his world, who came from the money he did, who had a successful family behind him. He deserved someone who would come home to him at night, sleep in bed with him, and make love to him. He deserved someone Kurt couldn’t be. Someone Kurt hadn’t been for a very long time. He was a stripper, that was his job, and the first rule of stripping was simple; _no boyfriends._

                Boyfriends got complicated, got messy. Boyfriends came every night to watch over their lovers and make sure that hands stayed off, and when hands had to stay off, the amount you brought home each night got lower, and, well then you were really fucked. Kurt needed his job, needed the money. He couldn’t be Sebastian’s boyfriend. He couldn’t put Sebastian through that. Sebastian deserved someone who didn’t get touched by dozens of men every night of his life.

                But somewhere in the back of his mind, Kurt felt the inkling thought that he was trying to dismiss. Yes. He needed his job, but he needed Sebastian too.


	14. Chapter 13

Sebastian stared at the plate for a very long time before he had the ability to move. He stared at the dollar bills, wondering if they were change Kurt had received or if some man had shoved them in his underwear while he worked. Sebastian didn’t care either way, he was just curious, and wondering about the money kept his mind off of the empty chair across from him. Kurt had run. He’d looked like he was going to accept Sebastian’s plea and then he had run. Sebastian didn’t understand. He wanted to understand, but he didn’t. He just stared at the money for a very long time.

                When he finally had to leave to make his meeting with his father, he left the money on the table, paid the tab with his credit card, and wandered away. The waiter could have the singles of mysterious origin. Sebastian went about his day on autopilot. He was dead again in his father’s meeting, he was silent and cold in his classes. He wasn’t functioning because his brain was using every ounce of power to try to understand. Why had Kurt just…left? Why didn’t he want this why had it been the kiss that scared him away? The beautiful, tender, perfect kiss?

                He wandered on autopilot to Kurt’s apartment, sitting down on the couch, using the key Kurt had had made for him. He just sat, late into the night, waiting for Kurt to come home. He needed to ask, he needed to know. He was beginning to doze off when he heard Kurt begin to unlock the three locks on the door. He looked up, and Kurt stared at him with shocked blue eyes when he opened the door. He wasn’t dressed for work, in the coming-home outfit of sweatpants and a T-shirt. He had on tight jeans and a tank top and he looked, and smelled, drunk.

                “Bas, what’re you doin’ here?” He asked, voice slurred, eyes struggling to focus.

                “Kurt you’re drunk.” Sebastian said, no judgment in his voice, only observation.

                “You want me to be your boyfriend.” Kurt said, the alcohol clouding his thinking processes. “I can’t be your boyfriend, Sebastian.” Kurt locked the door behind him, and stumbled over to the counter to throw his phone and his wallet down, “I’m gross, and disgusting, and people have touched me and fucked me and you…” Kurt stared at him, licking his lips, “YOU want ME to be your boyfriend!”

                “Yes I do, Kurt.” Sebastian admitted sadly, the rejection a bitter wound on his heart, “I very much do.”

                “But I’m disgusting. I’m a stripper. Rule number one, no boyfriends.” Kurt leaned against the fridge, rolling his eyes up, “You don’t want to introduce a stripper to your parents.”

                “I don’t care that you’re a stripper, Kurt.” Sebastian wanted to grab him and hold him and make him understand. “I just want you to be mine. I can handle your job, I just won’t go to the strip club, I trust you. You’re good at what you do and you do it because you have to. I can respect that.” Sebastian swallowed, “I can trust you.”

                “How do you know? How do you know that tonight I didn’t go out and let some guy fuck me in the bathroom of a club just so that I could think?”

                “Did you?”

                Kurt sagged, “No.”

                Sebastian gave in and stepped into Kurt’s small kitchen, pulling the smaller brunet against him, “Listen to me, Kurt.” He spoke into his hair, “I don’t care if you’re a stripper, I don’t care who has touched you in the past, and I don’t care that you cry at night and have nightmares and you worry about things that you cannot control. I don’t care about any of that.” He sighed, “I care about the fact that I live for your ‘I made it’ texts at night. I care that for once in my life, I’m focusing on something other than myself. I care about who you are, Kurt, not what you do or have done.”

                Kurt was crying into Sebastian’s chest. “You could do better.” He moaned, fisting Sebastian’s shirt as he felt the hands glide calmingly down his back. “So much better.”

                “I don’t want better.” Sebastian said, softly. “I want you.”

                Kurt looked up with wide glasz eyes, full of pain and fear and hurt, but deep down, need. Sebastian smiled at him, before leaning down and kissing him. This time, Kurt didn’t pull away.


	15. Chapter 15

It was days later, as Sebastian walked with Kurt to his morning class, that the pair would run into Blaine. Not quite as literally as Kurt’s first run in, but they passed the brunette, Kurt and Sebastian in deep conversation about the dinner they were going to tonight, and the night that Kurt would have to take off of work. It wasn’t until after they’d passed the smaller man that either of them had realized that it was him.

                “Blaine? Blaine Anderson?” Sebastian wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass, “Is it really you? What are you doing on FINY’s campus?” He slung an arm around Kurt’s waist as Blaine walked back towards them.

                The youngest of them had a bright smile on his face, but a guarded look in his eyes, “Sebastian, nice to see you. Kurt.” He regarded them warmly, if not slightly awkwardly. “I’m just visiting a friend. What about you, Sebastian?”

                “I’m walking my boyfriend to class.” He said with a smirk, “I would have thought that was somewhat obvious, Blaine, you’re disappointing me.”

                Blaine’s eyes widened slightly but he did a good job of hiding the shock, “You two are together?”

                Kurt hadn’t said a word, knives burrowing themselves into his heart as he saw Blaine, beautiful as ever and happy because someone other than Kurt was making him that way. He let out a shuddering breath, “Yep.” He smiled up at Sebastian, a silent plea therein to drop it and let them leave.

                “Oh, well, that’s slightly unexpected. I thought for sure Sebastian would be dancing on poles by this point or something. I didn’t expect him to be settled down.” The joke was good natured, an underhanded stab at Sebastian’s past as a manwhore. Blaine’s face was still warm.

                Kurt’s was not. His eyes icing over, and his breathing pausing. “I’m sure you think that’s some kind of funny joke.” He let out a low chuckle, “Goodbye, Blaine.” It wasn’t a joke, because it wasn’t Sebastian who took his clothes off for money. It wasn’t Sebastian who rubbed his crotch against other men’s to get a few extra dollars pushed into his underwear. It was Kurt. It was Kurt and that, more than anything, drove the knives even deeper into Kurt’s heart.

                “Did I…say something to offend you?” Blaine asked, eyebrows furrowing together, “It was a joke.”

                “Just drop it, Anderson. See you around.” Sebastian saw the look on Kurt’s face, and he hated it. “Come on, Babe.” He normally wouldn’t call Kurt that, but he dropped it anyway, steering Kurt back the direction they had originally come from.

                “He said it with so much hate.” Kurt whispered, “Like it was so shameful. I hate it, Sebastian, I hate it.”

                “Kurt you don’t have to do it anymore.” Sebastian said softly, “You have enough saved up to pay off most of your tuition. You can move into my apartment, I don’t pay for it anyway.” Sebastian stopped to brush tears away from Kurt’s eyes, “You don’t have to strip. I can take care of you.”

                “I do have to strip, Sebastian.” Kurt said, softly, “Because I have to be able to take care of myself for the day when you decide you don’t want me anymore.” Kurt’s eyes were wide and hurt and Sebastian wanted to kiss him until it was better but he knew it wasn’t a good idea, “I have to do this. It’s a part of my life, not one I’m proud of, but it means I get to survive. I haven’t hit gold yet, but I will.” Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian, burying his face in his boyfriends neck, “And if you still want me when I do, then I’ll move in with you, and I’ll let you take care of me. But not now. Not when I’m still searching for my happy ending.”

                Sebastian nodded. He could respect that. He hated it, but he could respect it. “I’m still going to be here when you find your gold, Kurt.” He said softly, kissing his hair, “I don’t want to lose you. Ever.”


	16. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: CAUTION! Derek comes back. He's not a nice character as you've probably learned.

Kurt was terrified for dinner with the Smythes. Meeting Sebastian’s sister, mother and father was arguably the biggest step in their relationship, save for when they got on a plane and Kurt tried to explain to his father that he was now in a relationship with the man who had nearly blinded his highschool sweetheart. Sebastian was psyched, and Kurt was just scared. He felt like a dress-up doll, getting dressed in his little, shabby apartment on the wrong side of town, in an Armani suit that Sebastian swore was just a hand me down, but Kurt saw the tag he’d missed. It was horrifying. But at the same time, there was  a sense of warmth in his heart that someone cared enough to spend a few thousand dollars on a suit for him.

                And he looked damn good in it. It was dark, charcoal grey, and the shoes and belt were black, the shirt crisply white. He glanced at himself in the mirror, and was shocked to see a vision of the High School Kurt that had once existed, there, in the mirror. Dressed in designer clothes, with makeup to cover the bags under his eyes, and his hair spiked and gelled up to  a point as it had been so long ago, Kurt saw himself. He saw the person he had been turn into the person he’d always wanted to be. This Kurt, in his Armani suit, could live in Sebastian Smythe’s world. This Kurt belonged in New York. This was designer Kurt, Chief Creative Officer of his own design  company. This was Kurt that had struck gold.

                And in that moment, Kurt wanted to take it off and go to Sebastian’s dinner in his stripping clothes. He hated that he was a doll, that he was being trussed up and dressed up for all to see.  He just wanted to be Kurt Hummel, the stripper, it was easier, and there were no hopes, no visions of the future to live up to, visions that surely, would be let down. He shook his head and turned away from the mirror, grabbing for his cell phone, amused somewhat, that at some point in time, Kurt’s old basic phone had been replaced with a new iPhone. The old Kurt reveled in the technology, the new one had been around the block a few times, and knew to keep his phone out of sight everywhere he went.

                Kurt hit the shortcut to dial Sebastian and waited, the phone on speakerphone as he packed his overnight bag for the Smythe residence. He’d had to take tonight off from Glitter, which was another worry. He took nights off to finish projects, to work in groups. Not to go to fancy parties put on in honor of Sebastian Smythe finally settling down with ‘Kurt Hummel, Fashion Student at FINY’ as the invitations had read. Kurt had very quickly learned that nothing was small in the Smythe household, it was all large, extravagant events, and huge gatherings of New York’s finest.

                “Yes?” Sebastian was snappy when he answered the phone and Kurt hadn’t expected it.

                “Did I do something to offend you by calling you?”

                “Oh, Kurt, no, I just…” Sebastian exhaled, “You’d have to understand how it gets at my house before one of these things. Are you on your way over?”

                “We didn’t have to have one of these things.”  Kurt muttered, “And yeah, I’ll be on my way in a few minutes.” Kurt smiled, “I like the suit.”

                Sebastian’s smile was evident in his voice, “I’m glad you like the suit. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

                Kurt hung up, tucked the iPhone away after calling a cab, and then headed out of his apartment. He didn’t get but two steps past locking all three of his locks when he was stopped in his tracks.

                “Loooook at you, Kurtie-pie. All dressed up. Does my Dad know you’re taking the night off to go to some fancy event in a fancy suit? With your boyfriend. Does my Dad know you have a boyfriend?”

                Kurt set his jaw, and turned around, “Derek, I don’t have time for this right now. You’re obviously high. Does your Dad know you’re high? That you’re spending his money on drugs?”

                “Doesn’t fuckin’ matter I’m his son.” Derek approached on Kurt, and Kurt took a step back, effectively trapping himself between the door and him. “You’re afraid of me.”

                “I’m not afraid of you.” Kurt lied. Derek was high. Kurt was strong but if it came down to a fistfight, Derek would win.

                “You’re LYING.” Derek screamed. “You’re lying you son of a bitch. Where is your big bad boyfriend to protect you now. Your old friend. Haha. Do you even have any friends you don’t have to fuck to keep their company.”

                “I haven’t slept with Sebastian.” Kurt said, setting his face, wishing his phone was in his pocket so that he could call 911 or Sebastian or someone. “And at least I don’t fuck people just to fuck them.”

                “You enjoyed it when I fucked you. When I made you my toy. Does your new boyfriend know that, Kurty? That you need to be used, like a toy?” Derek was too close for Kurt’s comfort, “

                “Get the fuck away from me.”  Kurt said in Ice’s voice. “Get the fuck away from me and stay away from me.”

                “My dad wouldn’t like it very much, Kurt, if he knew you were being so mean to me.”

                “Fuck your dad, and fuck you. I don’t need you.” Kurt regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth, “I don’t need you and your stupid fucking strip club. I didn’t make as much money as I deserved anyway. Was it you that took your fill of my tips? Is that the money you spent the drugs on?” Kurt refused to cry, “I don’t need you.” He pushed Derek hard, and began to walk away.

                “Don’t turn your back on me, Ice. You do need us. You need Glitter and you know it.”

                Kurt hesitated, he knew Derek was right, “No, I don’t.” He hoped desperately that he was right.

                He waited until he was in the cab to break down, barely getting out where he needed the cabbie to take him.


	17. Chapter 16

                Kurt was later than he should be. That was the first thought that crossed Sebastian’s mind as he mingled and idly chatted with some of New York’s finest. Then he broke down and looked at his phone, and he hurried quickly after what the text message asked him to do.

                _Meet me in the lobby – K._

                Sebastian excused himself and dashed for the elevator, frowning when he saw the look on Kurt’s face.  “Baby.” He said, and held out his arms. Kurt buried himself into them. “What’s wrong? What happened?” He was careful not to stroke Kurt’s hair, “Kurt talk to me.”

                “Derek was at my apartment.” Sebastian’s blood ran cold at the cried words, “And he…cornered me and he was gonna…I don’t know Bas he was high. I told him to fuck off, that I didn’t need him or the club.” Kurt was hysterical, “Bas, I just lost my job what the fuck am I going to do?”

                Sebastian took a step back so he could look Kurt in the eye, “The first thing you’re going to do is breathe.” He stared into his beautiful eyes, “Because it’s going to be okay. I need you to hear me, Kurt, it’s going to be okay.”

                Kurt took a few gulping breaths and nodded, “Sebastian I ruined everything.”

                “Kurt, it’s okay.” Sebastian kissed him, briefly, “Baby, listen to me. You don’t need them. You don’t. You’re going to be just fine. You have enough saved. I promise everything will be okay baby. I’ll take care of you. It’s going to be fine.”

                Kurt shook his head, “I didn’t want you to take care of me. I wanted…” He choked on his words, “I just wanted to make it on my own.”

                “You did, baby.” Sebastian said, “You did make it on your own, and then you found me, and now you don’t have to.” Sebastian kissed him again, holding him tightly, “You made it. You found your own gold, and now you’re going to add it to mine and I promise everything is going to be okay.”

                Kurt was calming down now. He stared at Sebastian, “I don’t know if I can face all those people.” He wiped at his face, glad for once that he hadn’t worn makeup, “Sebastian, I never wanted this. I don’t want you to have to take care of me.”

                “I don’t have to do anything, Kurt.” Sebastian stroked his cheek with his thumb. “I told you, I fell for you because you’re real. Because you’ve worked for what you have. Because you’re not with me because I can take care of you. Because you’re fucking gorgeous and intelligent and everyone is going to love you.” Sebastian gave him a smile, “Come on, lets go put your bag away, wash your face, and go talk to people.” He kissed his lips once more, “Baby, we can figure everything out in the morning. For tonight, let’s just enjoy this party.”

                “I like the suit.” Kurt said, motioning down at himself, “It’s beautiful and I found a tag.”

                “It’s beautiful on you.” Sebastian agreed, pulling Kurt along, hitting the penthouse button on the elevator. “It was very well picked by my mother’s personal shopper. I have to return to you the pants I borrowed so the tailor could get yours right.” He winked.

                “Sebastian Smythe, did you steal clothing from me?” He asked, wiping the tears away from his eyes. He grew serious suddenly. “I love you.” He said softly, his eyes on Sebastian.

                “I love you too.” Sebastian replied, just as softly, just as seriously, “I love you, Kurt Hummel.” He almost didn’t believe he was hearing himself say the words. “God what did you do to me?”

                “I fell into your lap, quite literally.” Kurt smiled at Sebastian and stepped closer for a kiss, “Thank you.” He breathed, “For showing me I didn’t have to be alone anymore.”

                “It was my pleasure.” Sebastian smiled and kissed him again.


	18. Chapter 17

The party was nice, refined, more casual than Kurt had expected, based on the fact that he was wearing an Armani suit. It turned out not to be New York and its finest, but rather the close friends and associates of the Smythe family.  Sebastian kept Kurt close for the entire night, not letting him more than an arms-length away from himself. He boasted about Kurt’s artistic talent and his glee club in High School and Kurt couldn’t help but smile because Sebastian looked happy. He really, truly looked happy. And Kurt was not going to be the one to crush that.

                But inside his mind was a warzone. He was mad at himself for giving in and agreeing to let Sebastian help, he was mad at himself for saying anything like what he had said to Derek. Sure, he was a pretty face and he kept up in conversation, but here, amongst doctors and lawyers and business people, Kurt felt out of place. He longed for the anonymity of the club, for the makeup and the stage name. He longed to be doing what he knew he was good at, teasing a man into an erection, and then leaving them to remember him.

                He was somewhat shocked to see more than a few men that he knew from the club. Of course, sans makeup and plus clothing, none of them recognized him, but he was still amused, and when tucked safely into the crook of Sebatian’s arm, he whispered his little bits of knowledge, making the other man nearly cry with laughter. Kurt enjoyed those moments, when it was just him and Sebastian. “Sebastian, when this is over…” He asked softly, “Can we go out?” His body was itching with energy, “I want to dance.” He breathed.

                Sebastian smiled down at Kurt, “Of course.” He looked around, “We’re pretty much done, did you bring clubbing clothes?”

                Kurt winked, “I can just wear yours. I brought a pair of jeans.”

                Sebastian’s eyes shimmered with possessive glee, “Be my guest. Go get changed, I’ll finish things up down here.” He kissed Kurt quickly, “I love you.”

                Kurt smiled widely, “I love you too.” And then headed for Sebastian’s room.

                He dressed in his own jeans, but left the top button undone. Searching through Sebastian’s drawers, he pulled out a white V-neck and a vest that he could pull tight enough to fit him. He wished he had his heeled boots with him, but he settled for the black casual shoes he’d brought with him for the next day. He glanced at himself in the mirror, shocked at how he looked. This was the old Kurt again. This was the Kurt that was something, someone, going out for a night on the town with his lover.

                “So I called Bradley.” Sebastian said as he came into the room, stopping to stare for a moment at the jeans and the vest pulled taut over Kurt’s chest, “Are you sure we have to go to the club?”

                Kurt smirked at him in the mirror, “Yes, Bas, what were you saying?”

                “Bradley’s coming. He’s getting some more people together. I don’t have very much clothing with me here, where exactly did you find that?”

                “Evidently your old clothing is here.” Kurt shrugged, “Come on. I’m itching to dance.” He gave his ass a little shake before moving to hang up his suit carefully.

                Sebastian shook his head, “I love you.” He said as he kissed the curve of Kurt’s neck from behind, “But you’re going to be the death of me.”

                Kurt just laughed.


	19. Chapter 18

The music in the club melted into Kurt’s bones and he felt a strange sense of belonging. The thrum of the bass worked its way into every cell in Kurt’s body and he ached to move to its siren call. He glanced back at Sebastian when they entered, with hungry eyes, “Come on.” He tugged at Sebastian, heading for the dance floor. The bodies all moved in sync to the music and Kurt ached to join them, to move, to allow his drug of choice to enter his system, this time with a side of Sebastian.

                Sebastian didn’t understand what Kurt’s obsession was with the dance floor until he found himself on it. Kurt’s body slotted against his, and in a way that was almost more intricate than sex, they began to move together.  Kurt’s head tilted up for a kiss that Sebastian willingly gave. There weren’t even words to the song that were intelligible, but Sebastian felt the music pouring through Kurt’s body and he wondered suddenly why Kurt hadn’t gone into music.

                Kurt hummed, tucking his head into Sebastian’s shoulder and focusing on the casual roll of his hips. He’d needed this, the freedom, to give himself over to Sebastian’s roaming hands and the music. To feel the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders and for a few moments, he just danced. Every drum beat and bass line caressed him in a way the rest of the world never would, in the way that the hands of the man he loved, LOVED  did.

                When Sebastian was dying for a breather and a drink, he dragged the begrudging man off of the dance floor, “Come on.” He murmured. “Let’s get a drink. We can dance again in a little while.” His arm stayed wrapped firmly around Kurt’s waist, latched onto his hip, keeping his lover close. He ordered for both of them and then settled against the bar.

                “Hey stranger.” Bradley walked up beside Sebastian, taking the barstool that Sebastian had neglected.

                “Bradley.” Sebastian regarded him, “Bradley this is Kurt, Kurt, this is Bradley.”

                Bradley stared at Kurt for a long time, like he recognized him but couldn’t place the memory. Both Kurt and Sebastian knew where that place was, but neither were going to give him that information. “Nice to meet you, Kurt. I hear you’ve finally tamed the beast.” He widened his eyes for dramatic effect.

                Kurt smiled charmingly and laughed, “He’s not really a beast.” He said affectionately, moving Sebastian’s hair out of his eyes, “He needs a haircut, but he’s not really a beast.” Kurt kissed Sebastian’s cheek.

                “Ew. Okay, I’m getting a cavity.” Bradley rolled his eyes, “So, Sebby.” He smirked, “Our group wants to know if you’re in for club hopping. Apparently there’s some sort of memorial down at Glitter. One of their strippers quit or died or something. It’s supposed to be a pretty big party, we’re not sure if they’re celebrating or mourning but alcohol is alcohol.”

                Kurt tensed, and Sebastian felt it. “Glitter?” He asked, trying to avoid his panic.

                “I think I’m gonna pass.” Sebastian said, nodding, “I think that last time I went down there was kind of a disaster.”

                “That was the night you didin’t get home til 10am though. That was a good night you said!”

                “Bradley…I’m not going.” Sebastian said plainly, “It was a great night, but I’m over that place.”

                Kurt looked lovingly at Sebastian, “I’m not a huge fan of Glitter anyway.” He said softly.

                Bradley sighed and relented, “Fine, you guys win.” He slinked away to join the other friends that were going.

                Kurt’s expression fell as he stared at Sebastian, “They’re throwing a party because I’m gone.” He breathed.

                “Their loss.” Sebastian murmured, tugging Kurt against him, “Now let’s go dance until we can’t think again.”


	20. Chapter 19

Kurt woke up the next morning with a cutting headache and a serious case of a dry mouth. He leaned in against Sebastian’s shoulder with a moan, before squeezing his eyes shut again, trying to block out the day. It was Saturday, so he didn’t have any classes to go to, and now, because it was this particular Saturday following the Friday that yesterday had been, he was no longer required to get out of the bed. For any reason. His heart hurt.

                For the last year he’d known getting up in the mornings, going to classes, or working out, going to the spa occasionally for a little TLC, drawing, relaxing, and just generally killing time, until he showered, got dressed, and made his way down to Glitter. But now his life, that portion of it, anyway, was over, and he couldn’t decide if he minded or not. It was almost painful, almost a worry about how he was possibly going to survive this. He was three years from graduation, even if he took the maximum class load for the next three years, and if he had to get another job, that would never happen.

                His breathing began to pick up, his panic, until he took a deep breath and breathed in the cigarettes-and-alcohol-and cologne-and-Sebastian smell that melted him. He exhaled slowly, burying his face deeper and taking another deep breath, repeating the action until his panic went away. The difference between a year ago and now, was that for the last two months, he’d had someone. He’d had someone to hang onto, someone that held onto him back, holding him together against the storms of real life.

                Sebastian was going to make the difference for Kurt. He was going to make it possible to get through all of this, and it wasn’t even about the money. Sebastian’s family had it in spades, but Kurt didn’t really need that. He’d taken an economics course, he’d find a way to make it through money wise, but Sebastian would be there to hold him on the nights when he was simply too overwhelmed to function. Would make sure he ate, would be the guiding light in the darkness.

                And yes, there was always the fact that if money faltered, Kurt would have Sebastian to back him, though his pride was desperately hoping that a year of stripping was going to be enough to get him through. A year of throwing himself at men and being mentally and physically forced to sleep with a man he didn’t even like, was going to pay for his success. He had to believe it, because even if it was possible, if he didn’t know that Derek was going to destroy his reputation and make it impossible for him to strip again, he didn’t want to go back.

                After last night, there was only one set of hands he wanted anywhere near him. He’d dance for Sebastian whenever he wanted, he’d willingly take his clothes off for the man who slumbered beside him. There was nothing in this world that would make him go back to allowing other men to touch him.

                He sat up, stretching, feeling the welcome and familiar ache in his lower half, smiling down at his sleeping lover. Running a hand through Sebastian’s hair, he licked his lips and then took a deep breath. “You’re so peaceful when you sleep.” He said, to no one.

                Sebastian’s hand lazily came up to thread his fingers with Kurts, blinking his eyes open at the other man, “So are you, if you ever get around to sleeping.” Sebastian smiled and yawned. “Lay back down, baby, it’s early.” He tugged on Kurt’s hand.

                Kurt relented, and laid down, nuzzling back into the warmth of Sebastian’s embrace. “I love you.” He said softly, content in his location, his tangible one and his location in the scope of his life.

                “I love you too.” Sebastian murmured, against the top of Kurt’s head, arms moving  to pull Kurt’s body as close as possible. “I’m glad you’re not stripping anymore.” He said. “I don’t want you to. It was destroying you.”

                “I know.” Kurt said, mournfully, “I know, but it was the only way I could find to survive.” He said, tears sparking in his eyes, “And I wouldn’t change it for anything. Even with Derek being a part of it.” He let out a shuddery breath, “Because if I hadn’t been at Glitter the night you and Bradley came, no one would have known that I was there, that I was doing what I was doing.” His body shook, “If I hadn’t been stripping where I was, you wouldn’t have come back into my life, and then where would I be?”

                Sebastian didn’t answer, just held Kurt closer.  After a long time, he decided to speak. “You were digging for your gold, working for it honestly, Kurt. I just happened to be there to pick you up when you fell, and now we can look for it together.”

                This time, when Kurt cried, it wasn’t from how much he hated his life, and how badly he wanted out. It was out of happiness, because finally, after two years of nothing going right, everything in his life was right. And he was back on the right track to strike his own Gold.


	21. Epilogue

“…And now we would like to welcome to the stage, founder and namesake of the Kurt Hummel-Smythe Foundation Scholarship, Mr. Kurt Hummel-Smythe!”

Kurt stepped onto the stage with the roar of the crowds. He smiled, he waved. He knew this act, he knew how to play in public, but his heart was pounding. “Hello, everyone.” He said as he stepped to the microphone, “You all obviously know who I am. What I’m here to tell you, is exactly what exists in the Kurt Hummel-Smythe foundation, why I created it and why it is so important to me.” Kurt had the crowds attention now, “Not every college student’s life is an easy one.”  He said, “They struggle, they fight with the people they love, push them away, only to find themselves spiraling downwards. I was one of those students. I fought hard for everything I had, turned to some, socially unacceptable methods to gain what I needed to survive. I found someone who pulled me out of all of it. My Husband saved my life, but not everyone finds their perfect Mr. Right.” Kurt took a steadying breath, “The Kurt Hummel-Smythe Foundation Scholarship, has been awarded this year to Miss Gabriella Hallender. I’ve met and personally discussed why she deserved this scholarship, and the bravery and perseverance this girl has…” Kurt glanced out into the crowd at the girl he had come to know so well, “She’s an inspiration. The foundation exists because life is never easy, and no one should have to choose something they don’t want, just because it’s the only thing they have left. That’s where the Foundation comes in. That’s what we stand for. Thank you.”

The cameras flickered as he hurried offstage into the waiting arms of his husband and their infant daughter. Kurt kissed Sebastian, and then Hope. “That was horrifying.” He said softly, stroking the baby’s hair. “I mean, terrifying.”

Sebastian smirked, “You did fine, honey. You really did. I was so proud of you. We both were, weren’t we Hope?” He nuzzled the baby, “Gabby deserved the scholarship. After everything she’s been through, and…” Sebastian looked at the baby, “I mean, she made a very adult decision in giving up Hope.”

Kurt nodded, “I know.” He smiled, “I love you.” He reached up to tuck Sebastian’s hair behind his ear, “You need a haircut, Superdad.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes, “You need a vacation, Founder and CEO.” He smiled fondly. “You’re going to change so many lives, Kurt.” His eyes were full of love and pride. “You don’t even know.”

“Sebastian, I know.” He rested against his husband, “There was no foundation for people like me, when I went through…Glitter and all it entailed.” He sighed, “But I found you. And now people can come to me, come to us, for help, now they’ll never have to strip or prostitute themselves out, or stay in abusive relationships…” Kurt’s eyes watered, “I’m really glad that you helped me do this.”

“I wouldn’t have been anywhere else.” Sebastian kissed his head, “Ever.”


End file.
